A dandelion amongst the roses
by Megluvscupcakes
Summary: I've always lived in Bella's shadow. She was always the favorite, the one everybody preferred. Even the guy I loved fell in love with Bella. I can't help but hate her. And if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be the monster I am today...
1. Introduction

I sit on the edge of the cliff, brushing my long blonde hair. I look at myself in my little compact mirror. I hatewhat I see-even though I'm not bad looking, it just isn't me. I haven't always looked like this-but before we begin our tale, let me tell you a little about me.

My name is Christina Abigail Swan, Chris for short. My mother is Renée, my father is Charlie and my twin sister is Bella. Though I would vastly prefer to be somebody,_ anybody_ else's sister. I despise Bella with a passion.

She is an ignorant, pushover, clumsy, Mary Sue Little-miss-perfect who everybody adores for some reason. And now she's getting married. Not that I'm jealous-I wouldn't touch Edward Cullen with a ten-foot pole. Jacob Black on the other hand...

Part of the reason I hate Bella so much is because everyone prefers her to me-and _why?_ The only thing that matters to Bella is her precious Edward-she doesn't give two shits about me, or our family. And yet _she's _the family favorite. I mean, on our first day in Forks High School, everyone said to me 'You're Isabella Swan's sister, right?' Sometimes, I feel like I should have that branded on my forehead. _Bella Swan's Sister._ Catchy, no?

Another reason why I hate Bella is Jacob. He's my best friend, and she's pretty much ripped his heart from his chest and hurled it across America. She let him fall in love with her, only to leave him when Cullen magically came back, then led him on and kissed him when we were fighting Victoria. That's another thing I hate about Bella-she seems to think she can have Edward _and_ Jacob.

But the main reason I hate Bella is because I wouldn't be the disgusting monster I am today if it weren't for her and her precious Cullens. I am a vampire-a disgusting, bloodsucking monster who makes my friends reel in disgust, forces me to stay away from my family and keeps me from human contact. And it's _all her fault._

If only she'd stayed away from the Cullens. If only she'd thought of _me_ and not just herself when Victoria was hunting me down. If only, if only, if only...

But I can't change the past. I can't change what that vindictive bitch Victoria turned me into. I am a vampire, I have been for over a year, and I must get used to it. But still, I can't help but reel at the sight of Bella and Edward together. Why can't I find that kind of happiness? It really doesn't help that the only guy I'd even consider being with is in love with _Bella..._

Precious little baby _Bella,_ who everybody likes best, who always gets her own way, who is making the biggest mistake of her life right now, and she knows it.

She doesn't even _want_ to get married. She's complained about it enough, but Edward insisted. You know, I didn't think there was a person I could hate more than Bella, but Edward Cullen proved me wrong. If it wasn't for him, I'd be a normal eighteen year old, about to go to college. But enough about now. Let's go back, to a time when I was remotely happy...

I was seventeen. I looked a lot like Bella-small, pale, brown eyes. Except I had caramel blonde hair and freckles. I had become fast friends with Jacob Black, the young boy with the long hair from La Push. I did good in school. I was actually _popular_. For once, I wasn't living in Bella's shadow. But then she met Cullen, Victoria attacked me, I was a red-eyed monster, the boy I was in love with fell for my sister(god knows why) and here I am today.

Sitting on a cold, damp cliff, staring into the ocean, while my sister is getting married elsewhere. But of course, I can't feel the cold. I can't eat, sleep, drink, warm up, be around people, or do any of the stuff I actually enjoy doing. And even though deep down, I know none of it is really Bella's fault, I can't help but feel like it is.

I look in the compact mirror, and my lip curls in disgust at what I see. Before, I had smooth, pale pink skin, and my cheeks would blush red if I was really happy or excited. Before, I had large, chocolate brown eyes. Before, I had a sprinkling of cute freckles across my nose. But now...

Now, I have stiff, cold features that look like they were carved out of marble. My eyes, usually topaz, are liquid black. My freckles are gone without a trace. I am ridiculously strong, and feel a burning thirst in my throat all the time. I have no blood. I feel no pain. And I hate it. I would rather be really dead than be this cold, too-perfect, unfeeling monster I see in the little mirror.

Suddenly, I can no longer stand it. I snap the mirror shut and crush it as easily as if it were a marshmallow. I drop it into the raging waters beneath my feet. I then twist the handle of the hairbrush, and as it slowly breaks, I can't help but wish it was Bella's leg in my hands. I let it slip from my fingers, and watch it disappear into the waves below.


	2. Jacob and Me

I stare down into the waves for a few more seconds, then pull my backpack towards me. Before I begin rummaging in it, I look down at the slinky silver bridesmaid's dress Alice forced me into, and pull a disgusted face. Sure, it might look good on me, but I'm a tomboy at heart, and Alice knows this.

I pull the dress over my head, exposing the black skinny jeans underneath. I pull the baggy black Batman t-shirt from the backpack and pull it over my head. I then kick off my silver stilettos(another thing I don't recall agreeing to) and throw them into the water, the dress following.

I pull my Simpsons hi-tops out of the backpack, put them on and tie the laces tightly. I then run a hand through my tawny hair, which Alice made stick-straight and smooth for the wedding, and tie it into a thick, messy braid that hangs over my left shoulder. _Perfect._ I feel like_ me_ again-the comic-loving tomboy with dark clothes and messy hair. It seems that ever since I became a leech, I've been seeing less and less of her, until it's like she never existed at all.

It's nice being here, by myself, with none of the Cullens or Bella around. Things like that don't happen very often-I haven't seen my mother since I first moved to Forks, and I haven't seen Charlie in months, all because of what I am. When I first changed, I had to run away for months, and when I came back, Edward had run away, Bella and Jake had almost fallen in love, the Edward had come back, and just like magic, poor Jacob ceased to exist.

God, I miss him.

I wish he'd come back from wherever the hell he was; he was the only one keeping me sane, what with having to live with the Cullens and avoid contact with humans until my newborn instincts die down in a few years.

I wonder what's happening at the wedding. Are they looking for me?

Have they even noticed I'm not there?

_Ha,_ I think._ Of course they haven't. They're too busy gushing over Bella, the gorgeous bride. Who would even think twice about _me,_ her mediocre sister, when you could just gawp at the great and glorious Bella?_

'Hey, Chris? Is that you?'

If my heart was still beating, it would have stopped in surprise. I turn around, and see the one person who I really, _really_ didn't expect to see.

_'Jacob?'_

I speed towards him, a five-foot-three blonde haired bullet, and tackle him in such a hug that if he wasn't a werewolf, I would have snapped him clean in two. He hugs me back just as hard, even though I probably smell as bad to him as he does to me.

I pull my head back and mime sniffing. 'Blech!' I say, wrinkling my nose. 'Wet dog!'

He laughs. 'Blech! Overpowering grandma perfume!'

I aim a swipe at his head, laughing, which he easily dodges. I can't believe it's him, but he's here, all right, the black-haired, brown-eyed gigantic sixteen-year-old that with the sarcastic smile and barking laugh that I know and love.

'What are you _doing_ here? I thought you were away!' I say to him.

'I came back for the wedding.' he replies. I frown at him. Something isn't right, I can tell.

'So...why are you _here,_ and not _there?'_ I ask, jutting my chin to see his face. His dark-brown eyes look away, not meeting my black ones.

'Just, er, came down here to say hi to my friend, Chris. That's not a crime, is it?' he says, laughing nervously. I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow.

'Liar. What did you do this time?' I ask. He sighs, and we both sit back down onto the cliff edge, letting our legs dangle.

'Well, it was all fine at first. Bella and I were just conversing and joking around like we usually do, but then...well, long story short, it ended with Seth holding me back to stop me from killing Edward.'

My eyes widened. 'Oh, for god sakes. What did Bella accidentally tell you this time?'

Jacob raises his head to meet my gaze. 'They're gonna have...intercourse. While she's still human.'

I put my head in my hands. _What is wrong with that idiot?_ I think. _Not only is there a high risk of her dying, she actually blabbed on to Jacob about it. Christ, how can I be related to her?_

I didn't know I'd said it out loud until I hear Jacob sigh.

'Thanks, Chris.' he says sarcastically. 'I really needed to hear that.'

'Well, maybe now people will believe me when I call her a naive idiot.' I say, and he flinches. 'Sorry, Jake. I just...I don't know what you, or everybody else sees in her.'

He sighs, then throws his arm around me. I rest my head against his chest, ignoring the putrid-dog smell. 'Sometimes I don't know either, Chris. But...you don't know what it's like to be in love.'

I wriggle free and give him a cool stare. 'What makes you think I don't?' I say coldly, and an awkward silence falls between us.

'So...why aren't you at the wedding?' Jacob asks. I snort sarcastically.

'_Why,_ you ask? The reason _why_, Jacob, is because I can't stand it. The sister I despise is marrying some Pretty-Boy Douchebag, and the fact that I would be somewhat happy had she stayed the hell away from him just taunts me every time I see him or his family! Do you need any other reason?' I yell, leaping to my feet.

I look down into the raging waters. It has begun to rain, and the drops spatter against my granite skin. I don't even feel them. As I stare into the waves, I contemplate jumping in, before I remember that nothing will happen if I do, except the minor inconvenience of getting wet. Sighing, I sit back down.

I raise my hand, curling the fingers upwards, and a jet of water shoots up to where I am. I wave my hand around slightly, and the water dances through the air, before I drop my hand and let it fall back down.

Let me explain something. A lot of vampires have special abilities, such as Alice's ability to see the future, or Edward's ability to read minds. Mine is a very rare one-the ability to control the four elements-fire, water, air and earth. Sometimes, if I concentrate really hard, I can even conjure them out of thin air, but it's difficult and painful, so I don't bother much.

I nudge Jacob. 'Hey, Wolfy. Watch this.' He raises his eyebrows at my childish nickname for him, which I hadn't used in ages. 'Ok, Vampy.' he replies, using his nickname for me. I smile, then concentrate fiercely. My fingers curl with the effort, and I strain hard-so hard that if it was still physically possible, I would be covered in sweat.

Suddenly, a flare of flame appears in my palm. Jacob's eyes widen-he's seen me control the elements many a time, of course, but he's never seen them conjured out of nothing. I grin at him, pride swelling up inside me.

'Of course, fire's the easiest.' I say modestly. 'Now, earth-that's difficult!'

The fire in my hand grows larger, causing my face, neck and arm to give off a faint sparkle. My grin is immediately replaced with a scowl as I notice this.

'My god!' Jake laughs. 'I've seen you sparkle before, kid, but I'm still not used to it!'

'And so you shouldn't be.' I say, my usual upbeat tone replaced with a depressed one that I try to conceal most of the time. 'Vampires shouldn't sparkle. Fairies sparkle, not evil bloodsucking monsters like...' I can barely choke out the last word.

'Like _me.'_

Jacob puts his arm around me. 'You're many things, Chris Swan, but an evil bloodsucking monster isn't one of them.'

I raise my head and force a smile onto my face. 'That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.' I tell him. He smiles back, and kisses me on the forehead.

My throat begins to burn with thirst again as his neck presses against my nose. _Just one quick bite, Chris,_ I think._ Just one bite, and it would all be over. He wouldn't even have to feel any pain. Just do it. Bite him. Drink him!_

I shake my head, getting rid of the feelings of bloodlust. _Don't think like that, Chris._ I think to myself._ He's your best friend! You would die if anything happened to him, especially if you were at fault!_

Sighing, I stand up, putting my backpack on my back. Jacob gets up too.

'I have to go.' I tell him. He nods understandingly.

'I know. Where will you go?' he asks.

'I don't know. Somewhere, _anywhere_. I just have to get away from here. I'll be back, though. I promise.'

We hug one last time.

'Tell the pack I said hi.'

And with that, I jump into the ocean and swim away, leaving Jacob, the Cullens, and life as I know it behind.


	3. Memories as I swim

I don't know how long I've been swimming for. An hour, a day, a year, a decade? It's hard to keep track of time when you're an immortal living underwater. Can't have been down here for that long, though. I probably would've met something other than a few fish if the former was the case. As I swim, I remember the incident that lead to my being a vampire, over a year ago.

_I was taking a walk in the forest by myself. Charlie was at work, Bella was playing baseball with her new boyfriend's family, leaving me to myself. I was thinking about going to visit my old friend, Jacob Black, when I heard a soft growl behind me. My mind immediately jumping to bears, I turned around, only to see a woman. _

_She was beautiful. Pale, snow coloured skin, vivid red hair and shining eyes. However, there was a very ugly look on her marble-like face, as if she was an animal poised to attack. She growled once more, then started towards me._

_I turned around once more and started to walk quickly away, breaking into a sprint after a few metres. However, I hadn't gotten far when she jumped me. I yelled in pain as I smashed to the ground, my jaw smashing off a tree trunk, my arm breaking under her grip._

_"Get off me, you crazy bitch!" I'd screamed. "My father's the chief of police!"_

_She ignored me, and her face lowered down until her mouth brushed off my neck. Suddenly, her mouth opened, and bit down on my main vein. I screamed in agony as blood gushed from the wound, and the woman began to drink from it._

_I thought I was doomed, until I felt the pressure on my body being lifted, and suddenly, the woman was being lifted up like a five year old girl by none other than Emmett Cullen. Jasper Hale was with him, and he bent down to examine me._

_"Chris! Chris, can you hear me?" He'd asked. I could only gurgle a reply through a mouthful of my own blood - "Help."_

_Jasper picked me up in his arms and turned to Emmett, who had thrown the woman away as if she were a sack of rubbish. I had seen her hiss in anger, then run off faster than any normal human being could. Of course, I had come to the conclusion that this woman was definitely not human - and neither were Emmett and Jasper._

_Emmett's eyes widened when he saw me. "There's no time to suck out the venom! We've got to take her to Carlisle, or she'll die!"_

_They both ran off with me, and seconds later, we were in the Cullen house._

_Carlisle's wife, Esme, let out a shriek of terror when she saw me._

_"Oh dear god, they got Christina! It's a good thing you were tailing her, or god knows what would have happened!"_

_After that, I'm kinda fuzzy on the details. All I can remember is a long, burning, agonising pain, and waking up in a new body with Bella beside me, with a broken leg and looking as though she would've liked to shoot herself. She told me everything after that - the Cullen's and Hale's were vampires, and that they had been tracked by other ones, the American Nomads - James, Laurent and Victoria. James had tried to kill Bella, but had been stopped by Edward. Laurent and Victoria had escaped, but not before Victoria bit me and turned me into a vampire. It was too late to save me._

_Christina Abigail Swan, seventeen-year-old girl, was dead and gone._

_Chris Cullen, veggie vampire, was born._

_Yeah, right. That'll happen. I'll be a member of the Cullen clan when Hell freezes over._


	4. I return to shore

I climb out of the water onto the beach, shaking the water out of my long, shaggy hair. When you're basically a mobile marble statue, the cold and wet isn't much of a problem. It is quite annoying, however, to have soaking wet hair flopping in your face. Maybe I should make like Alice and chop it into a pixie cut.

I've been gone for about two weeks - I swam to Russia and did some bear hunting when my hip-flask of elk's blood ran out, and it only took me an hour to swim back, mostly because I kept swimming up closer to the surface to frighten passing crustaceans - I even met an octopus! Pity I had to rip it's tentacle off, though, but it should have known better than to grab me and squeeze. Chris Swan does not put up with BS, no matter how much I hate harming animals. But I suppose it has to be done, now that I'm dependant on animal blood and all.

I'm back on La Push beach, as far as I can tell. I can see my good friend Quil, from Sam Uley's pack, and his imprintee, toddler Claire. I stride towards them, and am by their side in a nanosecond.

"Hey, guys!" I say, causing them to look up in surprise. Quil's face splits into a wide grin when he sees me - I guess it has been a while.

"Chris!" He says, getting up to hug me. "Aunty Kwis!" Squeaks Claire, throwing her chubby little arms around my knees and holding on tight. For some reason, it's never seemed to bother her that I'm a vampire - but maybe her parents have just drummed it into her that I'm a _nice_ bloodsucking sparkly monster with super strength and the power to manipulate the elements.

Or maybe the sparkly thing makes her think I'm a fairy of sorts. I don't know, children are hard to read.

"What are you doing here?" Quil asks as we sit down on the damp sands. I shrug. "Just wanted to see the pack. It's been a while; I was wondering how you guys were."

"We're doing good." Quil tells me. "And I won't tell Leah you were here, don't worry about that."

I breath a sigh of relief. Leah Clearwater, the only female in Uley's pack, isn't very fond of me - or vampires in general. She has on more than one occasion tried to convince the pack to exile me, but even if Sam and Quil and Embry and the others were OK with that, Jacob and Seth would never allow it. I love those guys - now there's a reason why they're my best friends.

Speak of the Devil - Jacob has just come over. He doesn't say anything when he sees me, just sweeps me into a one-armed bear hug and ruffles my already messy hair with his other hand.

"Hey, Jake!" I laugh. "Great to see you!"

"You too, Vampy." He says. And, as if reading my mind, he says "Yes, Bella and Edward are back from the honeymoon, and yes, I do think she's dead."

I pull away sharply. "Why, what happened?" I ask.

"Apparently, Bella picked up a rare disease in South America. But I just think," he begins, his tone changing to a bitter, hate-filled one, " he either changed her or killed her."

I shiver slightly, even though the beach is warm, and I can't feel the cold anyway. He's probably right. Even though I hate Bella, I don't want her to die - it would kill Reneé and Charlie. I get to my feet, giving Claire a quick kiss on the cheek first.

"You be good for Quil now, right?" I tell her sternly. "Do you promise your Aunty Kwis?"

"I per-om-is!" She tells me, kissing me back.

"She can pronounce her "R"s now!" Quil tells me excitedly. I roll my eyes at Jacob slightly - I love little Claire, and all, but I have far more pressing matters to deal with now. Like my sister possibly being dead, dying or one of me.

"C'mon." I say to Jake. "Let's go to Carlisle's place."

He nods, then phases. I climb onto his back, say goodbye to Quil and Claire, then with a huge leap, Jacob and I disappear into the forest.

I don't bother knocking when I reach the Cullen house - I just walk in. Not that I'm being rude, or anything, but since I pretty much live here, now, I think I should be able to let myself in.

Jacob and I walk on, following the sound of voices, until we reach the room everybody seems to be in. My eyes travel around the room - nobody looks happy. Nobody at all - especially not Edward. In fact, he looks like he'd like to hurl himself off a cliff.

Realising that he can only look this guilty because something has happened to Bella, I scan the room some more, looking for her. I knew she was still human before we even entered the house - I could smell her. But nothing could have prepared me for what I see when my gaze finally falls on my twin.

She is sick - really sick. Her skin has a pale green tinge to it, and it's clinging to her bones. She's wearing a stained grey sweatshirt that makes it look even worse. Her face looks sunken in on itself. But I don't realise what exactly is wrong until she smiles at us, sits up with help from Rosalie (who she now calls _Rose,_ apparently - what exactly _happened _in the two-and-a-half weeks I was gone?) and says "Chris! Jake! You came."

Now that I can see her body properly, I see that the stained grey sweatshirt is straining against her huge, bloated stomach, and I retch slightly as I realise what's realy going on.

My sister is pregnant with a demon baby.


	5. My life sucks, period

"Bella," I say hoarsely, "What the fuck happened to you?"

Bella's smile vanishes. She now looks frightened and alone.

"I'm pregnant." She whispers, quailing under my furious look.

"I can see that," I tell her in a deadly whisper. "I just want to know _how._"

She fidgets uncomfortably, her hands folded over her huge swollen stomach. I stare at them. They look like they could belong to a skeleton, yellowing skin stretching over the bones, veins and sinews standing out painfully. I can't help but retch.

"Well - Edward and I, we, uh - "

"I don't want to know the freaking details!" I yell, leaping to my feet and accidentally shoving my foot through the floorboards. "I want to know how that you are nine months pregnant after roughly a month and a half, and how the hell a vampire even managed to knock you up!"

I pause, turning to glare at Edward. Yes, I know I hate Bella, but she's still my sister. Stuff like this isn't supposed to happen to your sisters. Right now, I would like nothing more than to tear Edward's head off, and I can tell that Jacob is thinking the same about me.

Edward's eyes are boring into mine, and I know that he's trying to read my mind. I hate when he does that - it feels like giving up my only means of defence to the enemy.

"Get the fuck out of my brain, Cullen!" I spit at him.

"Oh, so you have one of those, do you?" Rosalie asks me, sneering. She must think she's so intelligent and witty. As if! A five-year-old could have thought of that. Still, I'm in anger mode now, so Rosalie's comments sting, when I would usually laugh them off, thinking both them and her pathetic. Not this time, though. I won't be pushed around by bitches like her, who think "plain", as she calls it, girls like me are doormats.

I rush over her and seize her by the front, bringing my face close to hers.

"Listen, Hale, " I snarl, enjoying the look of mingled surprise and terror on her face. "I will not be pushed around by you, or anybody else, anymore. I deserve respect, and you will give it to me. Got it?" I release her. "Oh, and stop acting like you're better than everybody else. That bluebottle on the windowsill probably has a nicer personality than _you, _Miss Vanity."

I turn away from her, back to Bella. "Bells," I say, much softer now that I've calmed down. "How did this happen?"

Bella smiles slightly, probably because I called her 'Bells'. I haven't called her that since we were kids, back before I started to hate her.

"I don't know why it's accelerated. I guess vampire fetuses grow at a much faster rate than human ones."

"But how did it happen in the first place?" I ask, wondering. I guess if Bella doesn't know the answer, there's always Google.

"Well, I suppose that when a male is changed into a vampire, his body doesn't really change. Because, when you're a vampire, you _can't _change. That's why vampire women can't carry children. But, in order to have children, the male body doesn't have to change. That's why they're still able to produce children."

I stand there for a long moment, letting this theory sink into my mind. It makes sense, I guess. But I still don't see why Bella's wasting away like this. I mean, she's just pregnant, right?

"Chris, there's something you don't understand." Edward tells me.

"Stop reading my mind, Sparkles." I snap. Edward glares at me.

"You sparkle too, idiot!"

"Well, I don't enjoy it, do I!"

"Who says I do?"

"People, please!" Says Jacob. He hasn't said anything since we came in - he looked too busy trying to hold his puke in.

I sit back, sighing. "Go on, Edward."

"This...this creature, it's not normal. It's half vampire. We think - we think it's eating Bella from the inside out."

I stand up as if I've been electrocuted, hands over my stomach, gasping and retching. I feel like I really am going to hurl, and I hope I do, something to prove that I'm not like these monsters, that I'm not one of them, but I hope in vain.

When I regain the ability to speak, I turn to Edward and gasp, "I'll kill you. I'll kill you, you son of a -"

"Christina!" Esme shrieks suddenly, jumping in front of me and placing her hands on my shoulders. "Calm down, sweetheart, you're just letting your emotions take over again!"

"My name, Esme," I snarl, trying to get free of her grip, "is Chris. Not Christina. And he's just condemned my sister to death, I have a right to be mad!"

"Esme, let her go." Says Edward suddenly, taking us all by surprise. "I hope she tears my head off. I deserve it."

"Stop!" Cries Bella weakly. "Edward, it's not your fault. If you died, I would die, too. I love you!"

"Oh, somebody get me a bucket, I think I'm gonna hurl!" I snap, making Bella flinch. "Bella, get your priorities straight, first of all. And please, _get rid of that thing!_ It'll kill you!"

"I can't!" Cries Bella, slapping her hands onto her stomach as if to shield it from harm. "It's my baby, my son! I love him! I need him!"

"Bella, get this into your thick head. _It'll kill you!_ If it doesn't eat you alive while it's still in there, you'll surely die in labor! And _then _what do you think would happen to your precious Edward? Remember the Italy incident? Do you want that to happen _again?"_

"Chris, _shut up!" _Rosalie shrieks before jumping at me. I feel an excruciating pain, hear Jacob yelling in fury and Bella shrieking "Rose, _no!" _before the whole world turns black.


	6. Just a Dandelion

"Rose, _no!"_

"Get away from her, you piece of - _Chris!"_

"Oh my God, her - her _head!"_

"Rosalie, how could you? You just tore her head off!"

"I'm sorry, I just lost control of myself!"

"Save your excuses, Blondie! I'll deal with you later. Oh, God, _Chris!"__  
_

Jacob. It's Jacob's voice. That's all I can hear.

"Chris..._Chris..."_

What's going on? Did Rosalie really tear my head off? Am I dead? Well, I hope I at least managed to take part of her with me.

"Can you fix her, Carlisle?"

Bella's voice. She sounds beyond terrified. I can hear her grunting as she struggles to get out of the chair.

_"Chris..."_

_"No. _Stay in the chair, you'll hurt the baby."

"Don't you tell me what to do, Rosalie Hale! You just tore my sister's head off! And I'm starting to think that you're only helping me so that you can have EJ when I die!"

_"Chris..."_

No shit, Sherlock. Looks like Bella's finally starting to develop brain cells. Better late than never, I guess.

"Bella, we can put her back together. It should only take a few days."

_"Chris..."_

Wait a second...if I really have been decapitated, how the Hell am I hearing this? Shouldn't I be dead?

"Chris, _wake up!"_

Startled, I sit up. I'm in my bedroom. Bella sits at the foot of my bed, grinning guiltily. Instinctively, I feel at the base of my neck. There is a thick line of red-raw skin there, but mercifully my head is back on my shoulders.

"Thank God, you're awake. Jacob's practically having a fit - you've been out of it for a week, we all thought you wouldn't make it."

"A _week?" _I exclaim, surprised. "Where's that bitch Hale? I have a bone to pick with her."

Bella's smile slips. "She's, er, downstairs. She's forbidden from coming anywhere near you."

I grin, happy that Rosalie is suffering - I was her favourite person to insult. It must be torture to be deprived of that.

"Good. Did I do anything to her? Like, maybe rip off an arm, a leg, a fingernail?"

Bella shakes her head. "Well, you did rip out a few hairs, and she's missing a tooth, but that's it, really."

I laugh, then notice her stomach. She looks more pregnant than ever, like she's about to pop. "How, uh, how far along are you?" I ask, indicating her stomach. "Like, when do you think you'll go into labour?"

Bella looks like she's deep in thought for a moment, then answers. "About four days, maybe."

Shuddering, I decide to press on. "Bella, won't you _please _consider abortion?" I beg. "You don't even _want _to be a mother, you've told me before. What's so special about _this _baby that you're blind to the fact that it'll kill you?"

Bella draws herself up to her full height, trying to look intimidating, but simply looking even more lost and alone than before. "For your information, _Christina, _I love my son and have every intention of keeping him. Now that I've been drinking human blood - "

"You _what?!"_ I gasp, horrified.

" - He has stopped trying to drink mine, and now that he can communicate with Edward and I, he has stopped moving around, and is therefore not hurting me anymore."

"Isabella Swan. You are, possibly, the densest person I have ever had the misfortune to meet. It. Will. Kill. You. Coming. Out. I've read some things about vampire pregnancy before, when I first became one, I remember. It'll _bite _itself out of the womb, probably break all the bones in your body and drain all your blood!"

"You don't understand!" shrieks Bella. "Edward will turn me into a vampire _as I give birth. _I'll become a vampire, meaning I won't die, and then I -"

"Oh, don't be so naïve! The odds on you surviving even to _that _point are about ninety-nine to one! And trust me, you _really _don't want to be a vampire. It's awful! You can't eat, drink, sleep or die! You always thirst for human blood, your features don't even look real, you _sparkle in the goddamn sunlight, _and you can't start a family!"

I gasp for breath, shooting black looks at a stunned Bella.

"Becoming a vampire," I continue, "was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I would have preferred death at Victoria's hands to being one. I can't do any of what I had planned on doing when I got older."

"L - like what?" Bella asks, her voice trembling.

I sigh, then press on. "Like graduating. Going to a good college. Getting a great job. Meeting a guy I loved, who loved me in return. Getting married. Having children, and settling down. It was simple enough, right? But then _you _had to convince Mom to send us to Forks, _you _got in with your precious vampires, which resulted in my being bitten, and my dreams went down the toilet, all thanks to you."

I fold my arms and lie down, refusing to look at Bella. I can hear her heavy breathing. She's in shock, I can tell. I've never been exactly open about my feelings.

"Has anyone ever told you," I say suddenly, "that you look and sound exactly like that crappy actress from 'Adventureland'?"

"Kristen Stewart?" Asks Bella. "God, why does everybody say that?"

We giggle for a moment, then Bella speaks again.

"Is that why you hate me so much?" She asks, surprising me. "Because you blame me for Victoria attacking you? Because, you're right to. Hell, I blame myself for it."

I roll over onto my side, facing her. There's a long silence for a few minutes. Then, I speak up.

"Well, no. It's a big _part _of the reason, certainly, but not the full one." I tell her. "How did you know that I hate you?"

She smirks at me. "You shouldn't leave your diary lying about, Chris. People get curious."

I fire up at once - literally. A flare of flame shoots up from both hands as I sit up, outraged.

"You _read my diary?! _How dare you! It's private!"

"I was curious!" Bella says defensively. "And besides, I didn't read much. Only a part on how much of a bitch I am, and how much you hate me and wish I wasn't your sister. _Why?"_

Sighing, I tell her. "Because, I've always lived in your shadow. Everybody has always liked you best for as long as I can remember. Our parents, our friends, our teachers, even my crushes have fallen for you. And I've never been able to find out _why._"

"Because I'm an "ignorant, naïve, selfish, pushover Mary-Sue with the IQ of a crayon"?" Bella says, her voice strangely high.

I nod. "That is how I've always felt, yes. And what makes it worse is that you don't appreciate any of it. You're willing to throw it all away for Edward."

Bella looks down. "Is there anything else you've hidden from me?" She asks.

"I've always been insecure with myself. I feel so out of place here. Like I'm just..."

I sight and stop, but Bella won't let it go that easily. "Like you're just...what?"

"Just a dandelion."

Bella frowns, cocking her head to one side. "A dandelion? What do you mean, a dandelion?"

I get off the bed and walk to my dressing table, pulling out a piece of paper. "This might make things clearer." I say. I hand the piece of paper to Bella and she reads my poem out loud.

_"I feel like this every single day._

_A dandelion amongst the roses, one could say._

_I guess it's because I know_

_That nobody would ever look my way._

_Among all these roses, I have nothing to show._

_Nothing to compete with._

_Inner beauty, it's just a myth._

_I know I'll never blossom,_

_And that these roses will never leave._

_I look in the mirror, and all I do is grieve._

_I just don't see it._

_I tore, I screamed, I bit,_

_But beauty never came._

_It's just me, amongst all these lovely dames._

_Regular me._

_Limp and lame._

_So don't even bother._

_I'm not worth your time._

_It's not my fault that not being pretty is a crime._

_Lock me behind bars,_

_Pull me from the earth._

_Reveal all my scars,_

_No one would care._

_Living amongst the roses is quite a dare._

_They're all so radiant and rare._

_A dandelion such as me?_

_Well, I'm just your common weed._

_A pest that's just another mouth to feed._

_There is no solution,_

_Just a goodbye._

_Into the weeds_

_Is where my future lies."_

Bella finishes the poem and stares at me. The silence hangs stale in the room. Finally, I speak up.

"It's how I've always felt. Like you're all roses, and I'm just a dandelion."


End file.
